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SMUT STAND REPORT: May 9, 2014 (Brighton, UK)

First outdoor, commissioned smut of the season. I always worry if I've still got it, but I always do.

First outdoor, commissioned smut of the 2014 season. I always worry if I’ve still got it, but I always do.

(ANNOTATED MARCH 6, 2015: Good god, almost 10 months later! I am slowly adding all of 2014’s Smut Stand Reports to the web site, backdating to make sure the record stays chronologically accurate. This will be where they live from now on, instead of on Facebook. I’ll be adding pictures of referenced pieces where I can track them down, and giving bits of background as I remember. For example, with this one, I’ll just note that I had to buy another manual typewriter. In 2013, I had borrowed a typewriter from my Edinburgh technician; her dad had one he wasn’t using. In 2014, right before I got to the UK in May, she told me that somehow that typewriter had gotten lost, and so I had to go out and find one. Someone pointed me in the direction of a consignment emporium, where I found a very nice German model, cream with deep maroon keys, for £25. It handles differently than the one I use in North America, but is still very fine. I leave it with a friend there, which means I don’t have to add a manual typewriter to the cavalcade of set pieces and baggage when I fly!)

SMUT STAND REPORT: first outdoor session of the season! WHEN: two hours (5:45-7:45pm), May 9, 2014. WHERE: New Road between North and Church streets, Brighton, UK. OUTPUT: One custom piece and two fragments.

I originally had set out to do some straight-up flyering at the posterboards, but the guy doing REALLY TERRIBLE street promo (he was just standing there in the middle of the walkway holding out his flyer) convinced me to go to smut; he was just giving such a negative vibe to that spot, I said forget it. Plus the weather felt a little nicer than I had expected.

Let me be plain: this is NOT a good place to actually create, because there are so many people that need interacting with. As I found with the one custom piece that I did—a quasi-public, fully clothed scene that the guy bought for his girlfriend, involving still-sensitive welts and ribbons tied around her nipples—I need to give a longer estimate for completion time when there is that much inquisitive traffic. But considering that I am Smutting here solely for the purpose of promoting the shows, that’s just the cost of doing business.

Lots of pictures taken—taking one of my cards is a condition of taking my picture—lots of good chats with people, lots of confused side-eye from young hipster musicians attending the new music festival right there. They wanted to mock me, but they were too baffled to really do it properly. My new billet host told me this morning that one of her acquaintances on FB posted about seeing me out there, and that several people responding to his post had included a link to my show listing. This is an encouraging development. OH! I ran into JD Henshaw and Annie Marr, director and media relations coordinator from my Edinburgh venue this year! I’m glad they got a chance to see Sidewalk Smut in action, because it’s definitely something I do in Edinburgh.

It was SO COLD, though; I will be wearing my scarf today, but I miss my little mitts so much (they’re the ones you made me, Matilda!). The air here is damp, too, like in New Orleans but much chillier, so the paper feels a little soggy and, if left too long in the typewriter, takes on the curl of the typewriter platen. The new typewriter works very well, though. I am pleased with how compact it is.

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Sidewalk Smut is a warm-weather sport, but you can support me and my work year-round by becoming a patron of mine over on Patreon!

 

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